I am often criticized for certain beliefs regarding patriotism and national pride, usually culminating on Canada Day and/or the Olympics. Judging by the general reaction to a certain beer commercial, I don’t expect my idea’s to gain popular support anytime soon. This commercial was a follow up to another very famous commercial and both made attempts at saying that you are entitled to a birthright and privilege and that they themselves understand what freedom should mean to you.
While I expected more of us to feel completely insulted by a corporation insinuating what it means to be free, the response seemed to follow one these lines:
- Fuck ya, let’s drink more beer.
- Country X is better than any other country.
- This makes me so proud to be from Country X.
- Let’s get drunk and celebrate Country X in all it’s glory.

Let us agree on a few key points before going any further. Can we agree that Freedom is essential to the human spirit? Can we agree that freedom is the ability to decide for oneself, free from bondage, the idea’s, thoughts and direction we want to lead? Can we agree that in order to obtain this freedom we have the right to and an obligation to question and challenge authority, especially if that authority makes claims we believe to be illegitimate?
If we can agree on this much and you don’t feel anything short of insulted by the claims this commercial has made, perhaps you need to seek a clearer notion of the human spirit?

My objections are twofold. I cannot deny the cultural differences between countries and regions but Nationalism makes certain untrue claims beyond that. It makes a claim that our ‘freedom’ and way of life is somehow different and/or better than someone else’s. It claims that you are entitled to a birthright and privilege, which is to be denied to others. And it expects your total submission in the name of ‘God & Country’.
Secondly, I object to any form of authority or power, which a corporation is, making an attempt to control the human spirit or telling you what the human spirit consists of. Can we also agree that a corporation is an illegitimate form of authority because it aims at degrading the human spirit through the dependence of need?
If so, why then fall so quickly into line when told what it means to be from Country X or what it means to be free?

First in a new series. I Think You’re Special

There is a solitary nature to photography. You might capture a model, a crowded scene or work with a stylist, makeup artist and PR company to accomplish a project but you develop your film alone, upload your memory card alone and tediously work your images in Photoshop, alone.
This is not different from say, the painter or sculpture but it does differ in other ways. When an idea comes to mind, it is not as simple as breaking out the canvas or clay. You write down what you want to accomplish and then you wait. Wait for your model to get back to you, pick a date in the future, acquire any props you may need and hope that it all comes together. The steps from idea to execution are numerous and time consuming, or rather time wasting.

This being said, I am tired of working alone. I feel disconnected from other people in many ways. When I’ve taken a picture, I upload it to the faceless masses online. I haven’t collaborated with anyone, there is no discussion. Maybe it’s only the winter taking it’s toll on me but the same can be said for the other aspects of my life. I finish a good book and find no one to talk to about it. I cook a great meal and don’t share it. Any tangible interactions are few. I add the book to GoodReads, I take a picture of the meal and let others live through it. This is empty.

A solution to this problem is easy to find but I need to be careful not to simply put a band-aid on a gaping wound. I need to make sure that what I choose to do is meaningful to myself and helps build a sense of community and is not simply an empty gesture.
I would really like to join an art collective. Having a space to work alone and with others would be such a wonderful thing to have. To have a group of people who want to collaborate and share idea’s and experience is something I haven’t had before and something I could really benefit from. The funding from this collectives would also allow me to showcase my work in a completely new environment.
Secondly, I want to start Podcasting. I’ve always been interested in radio and would love to enter this field but I have no experience whatsoever. Podcasting would give me production experience on the one hand and allow me to collaborate with talented and interesting people on the other. I have a few idea’s in mind and many people interested in collaborating, the next step is to purchase recording equipment.

This isn’t new to me, I’ve been here before and I just need to start moving in the right direction to avoid becoming stagnant. My big idea’s have a habit of going nowhere and before I know it, another year has come and gone. My goals are tangible and possible.

Christina in my studio.

The wonderful Robin and I recently went on a few excursions to Ontario/Quebec in search of abandoned and derelict buildings. He was shooting for a project and I can never say no to a road trip.
While I am not terribly crazy about the pictures I took, I captured some nice textures and got to use my Bronica. No complaints.

I’ve had a sudden surge of positivity the past couple of days. I hate to admit that it mostly has to do with the amount of material goods that have arrived in the mail this week. Although I do feel very inspired as of late. Not only in terms of photography but I’ve been slowly developing a podcast. I’m only in the idea’s stage now but it’s coming along.
I have received about 6 books this week, new studio lights, my first print, which I now need to frame, a soft box and a few other little tidbits. On top of that, I decided to hang some wallpaper in my room. This serves as a way to make my white room feel a little comfier and is a great backdrop for portraits:

My model canceled on me yesterday so I forced two of my roommates to pose for me so I could test out my new lights. I couldn’t resist the self-portrait either:

I finally got my Calumet Genesis 400 studio kit(plus one soft box) I am very pleased with the quality of this light so far and extremely impressed with the level of Customer Service at Calumet. A mistake was made with a third party, yet they upgraded my shipping and 15 hours later, Fedex was at my door.
I have a friend coming over for a test shoot tonight but I grabbed a quick shot of my typewriter:

“Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable” – Voltaire

It is with great joy and satisfaction that I declare to you all, I am not an optimist. No, I’m not so much an optimist as a complete cynic. This realization came about the other night while at a party. Standing in the same circle with the same people I always stand beside, eying those I do not know and pointing out how one of the smaller male guests looks like “an ugly Sean” I stopped myself. Feeling a little guilty I quickly apologized to the circle, saying that I haven’t been myself and to excuse my cynicism as of late. After some weird looks and crooked, stupid smiles, someone blurted out “As of late? Try for the past 5 years!”
It was at this moment that after years of forcing myself to believe the opposite, I finally accepted my depressive world view.

As a kid my fear of the world kept me up all night. If I wasn’t hiding under the covers convinced an alien ship would take me away, it was stories of natural disasters, death or mummies that would do it. Life was nothing but endless days of worrying about the next disaster. Replace my childhood fear of tsunamis with heartbreak, mummy uprisings with loneliness and alien abductions with general mistrust and things haven’t changed much.
As I got older and started worrying about the Universe, “god”, poverty, human suffering, government conspiracies and religion I turned to Buddhism. Alas the meditation, calm and love for all mankind boiled down to one hopeful saying:
“Life is suffering”
As the days have gone by and I’ve become completely irreligious, that will always stay with me.

It isn’t all bad. I like to think myself to be of a Woody Allen archetype. Sure I’m sarcastic, witty and ‘Eeyore-eske’(in attitude not body type) but if it does anything, it provides you with endless humor and a way to feel better about your own life. Right?
All in all, life has treated me very well. I’ve been given the opportunity to travel, I have great friends, I am in school and am able to afford to do many things, yet this world feels like it’s always ready and willing to beat me down. The pessimist isn’t ungrateful with what he has, he is just aware that at any moment it could be taken away. And if not now, then much later on.

So for now I say march on and march carefully. The world might be out to get me, people may be cruel, life may be nothing but suffering with nirvana a goal that is always out of reach but…at least the mummies have yet to rise.